long time no blog

So...I haven't blogged in such a long time. I should really come back to it. I feel like these days, it would be my only source of venting, without feeling guilty.

There's been a lot going on. I mean, for one, school's been out now for about a month or so and so I've just been bumming around the house. I feel really lazy just staying at home so I've been going to the gym everyday, just to keep my body active at least. I feel bad though since I don't have a job, which I think I have some what of a legitimate excuse for. I'm also going on missions, well hopefully, if everything works out and it's also the reason why I'm not looking for a job. I'm also going to be helping out at CityPeace's summer day camp for the whole month of July, which means that I won't be able to work until after August. I'll have all of August and the rest of this year plus next year to work so won't be too bad, right?

Spiritually, it's been such a struggle. I mean, right now I'm living such a mundane life. I wake up late, I go to the gym, I come back home and just do nothing for the rest of the day until I go to sleep. I try to fill it up with things everyday but I still have a chunk of time left over. This would probably be a good time for me to be meditating on the Word or praying but I just have no motivation. It's just really upsetting. On top of that, I don't really have anyone to talk this out with. I feel like right now, all of my other friends are just whatever about their faith [there are that few that do actually care but they're guys and I'm kind of skeptical with sharing my feelings with them for reasons I won't really get into now]. I don't really have an accountability partner to help encourage me and it's honestly tough. I'm just lacking so much right now and reading the Word and praying [I won't say I loved it everyday, there were times where I got lazy] used to come so easily but now it's just plain hard. To top it off this whole mission's issue with the money and me going needs prayer but I'm not praying about it at all.

I think I'm just going to leave it here for tonight. I could certainly keep on going but it's just too much to write/type up and my neck is cramping up. It's not that I'm denying God or anything of that sort...I'm just...in need of some encouragement. God, will you provide that someone for me?