made '08/college united '09/OIL

This week was [besides finals week] the most tiring week ever. With retreats back to back, I certainly did not have any time to get enough rest. I actually have a retreat coming up this week, this wednesday to be exact. I've gained a lot from both retreats and I blessed to have been surrounded by such wonderful people.

The first retreat was Jubilee's youth group retreat at Sandy Cove in MD. The retreat center was so gorgeous, I felt so spoiled to have gone to such a nice place. The view at the dock was so amazing and beautiful. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I went as a teacher for the retreat and I was a small group leader for the 6th grade girls. They were a handful but they were so cute and bubbly, a bit A.D.D. in my opinion. ^^ However much they went off tangents, they were equally willing to learn and were ready with questions to ask me left and right. Teaching them kind of reminded me about when Jesus talks about children and having the faith and heart like that of children. When we're young, even younger than 6th grade, we become so dependent on our parents for everything. Their the ones we look up to to get us food, help us get dressed, take us to the bathroom, pretty much everything. I think me teaching them was kind of way for God to remind me to have that kind of faith...for Him. To have that dependency on Him when times get rough and even those times when I'm not going through any struggles at all. It's definitely a challenge, trying to live out a life fully dedicated to God but I think as I mature and grow in Him, I'll be able to depend on Him a little bit easier than before because He's brought me this far. I'm very thankful to have been part of that retreat and I'm also very thankful to have worked with the staff that's from Jubilee. They may be a bit crazy and weird at times [like at 3-4 in the morning but that's ok, I'm like that too] but I've come to see their love for Christ and that made me want to yearn for Christ that much more. Truly praise God and thank you guys. :)

The second retreat I went to was College United and that was a joint college fellowship retreat with CityPeace, Grace Point, Yuong-Sang ELM, Pure Joy, and Cornerstone. This was a very different and new experience for me. I've gone to college retreats before but not to one where I'm surrounded by people that I see a lot at home. The past college retreats I've gone to were ones from Renewal and that was when I was at school. It was a blessing to be at this retreat because I've got to spend time with my own church members as well as see other friends I haven't seen in a while. However, it was a bit of a struggle because I just had so much on my mind. It was hard for me to focus and plus, I was very, VERY, tired coming back from a youth group retreat just the day before. I definitely must say though that I learned and gained a lot. The pastors that spoke hit a lot of points home and what they spoke of was a really great reminder for me to live my life out for God and nothing else. I guess if I had to choose, the biggest thing I've come to realize from the retreat was my identity and where it lies. It's kind of funny because at the Jubilee YG retreat, Pastor Paul also spoke on that too and he made a good point in saying that who God is defines who I am and what God does defines what I do. Pastor Robert in his "Identity" seminar stated similar points and I think that helped me to rethink my heart motives and why I decide to do the things I do and what's really the purpose behind everything that I do. I guess this retreat was more of an eye opener for me than anything and I'm glad to have gone.

The next and last retreat I'm going on is OIL. I've heard and have gotten mixed reviews about it and I guess I really won't know what it's really about until I go and experience it for myself. I'm looking forward to it very much and I'm hoping I'll get some very good rest before I go because I am still very tired from the past week.

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God, help me to learn how to forgive.