reflection

Proverbs 27:19: "As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man."

What does my heart say about me? What are my heart motives? What motivates me to do the things I do? Am I truly living my life as a follower of Christ?

I came across this verse during my QT today and it made me reevaluate my heart and where I was truly at in my walk with God. I've been questioning a lot of things about myself recently about where I'm headed in life, what I'm going to be doing and I guess this verse helped put things into perspective. It made me question whether or not I was really in it for heck of just doing my job or if I was really committing myself to doing His work. Actually, I really don't know if what I'm going for is His plans for me. I'm just sort of, sticking to it and seeing what happens.

These past few days have also been a bit rough because of finals and doubts about commitment in relationships. It also hasn't helped with the fact that I have been getting very little sleep, making me moody and snappy all the time. Just today, I felt so empty inside. My heart felt incomplete and I started to feel upset and heavy burdened again. I asked God to fill in that gap for me once again and as much as I did feel comforted, I still felt upset. I don't know what it is with me these days. Maybe it's just because I'm tired and cranky. I just need some prayer.

I'm not exactly sure how this all ties in with how my heart reflects me. Maybe it's showing me that I'm weak and I can't do anything on my own unless I have His strength. Maybe it shows that I still have a lack of faith in not trusting that God will take care of everything. I seriously just need some Jesus time.