to you

To you: Amidst all that's going on and as much as it's hard for me to be patient about all this, I'm still very thankful for you. You've taught me a great deal lots and I'm still learning from this. I still get angry and upset and bitter and I think that you're a bit selfish sometimes and you don't really understand me [although you say that you do]. Nonetheless, you're still someone close to me and God placed you in my life for a reason. Whether or not you continue to stay in it is the question as of now and I guess I'll just have to leave that up to God to decide. I'm trusting your word and what you say and I'm hoping that you'll stick with it. I don't want to have to let go of this bond that we've built or am starting to build up. It takes time and effort and I'm doing my best to help it move along and I'm hoping that you're doing the same. Although at times, that doesn't really seem like it either. So even though deep inside, I still feel very, very upset towards you, thank you.

To you: As for you, I trusted in you when I was hurt but it seems to me that I trusted the wrong person at the wrong time. I spilled a lot to you and I thought you would take my side and understand but things don't always turn out the way you'd expect them to, huh. You said you weren't ready but you got into one anyways. You said you were unsure of what's going on but it seems like you know exactly what you're doing. You, I am very upset with but I'm not saying anything right now because I don't think it's an appropriate time to do so. I want to let you know what's been on my mind all this time but what's the point now? It'll just seem like bitterness and hatred. You seem to be opening up a lot more towards me lately. I don't exactly understand but I get the feeling it's because you're now more comfortable where you are, in that position. I'm hoping that you don't feel threatened by me either because that, honestly, would be very stupid of you.

Either way, although a part of me wishes somehow that this will all fail and I'll get to laugh your faces one day, I'm hoping praying the best for the both of you. God's teaching me how to love those who hurt me the most or just hurt me in general and He's teaching me how to forgive and let go. So, whether it works out or not, I'm hoping that you guys are giving this up to God every moment and every second. Make every relationship a God centered relationship. No ifs and buts about it. No compromising either. You guys know the rules and you guys know how God works [sort of]. Hopefully.

I still feel betrayed by the way because I feel like you guys lied to my face. Just throwing it out there.